


Scapegoat

by Meteorstar



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Animal Abuse, Child Abuse, Drug Abuse, F/F, F/M, Feels, Incest, M/M, Rape/Non-con - Freeform, Sadstuck, Underage Sex, Violence, etc. - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-02-08 15:18:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1946088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meteorstar/pseuds/Meteorstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scapegoat- a person made to take the blame or suffer in the place of others. Centering around Gamzee. Takes place partially before the game. Warning: Sadstuck, Feels, Violence, Character Death, Drug Abuse, Animal Abuse, Child Abuse, Non-Con/Rape, etc. Basically the author pees on Gamzee. Enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fear

_Where am I?_ was the first thing to go through the little troll's mind. Fear was pulsing through his body, his eyes seeing nothing but a white cloth. He could feel cold concrete against his bare, aching skin. He tried to move his hands, finding them bound by rope. He found bindings on his feet too, and the texture of the same rope was rough against his tongue. He raised his hands to his face, trying to remove the blindfold, and successfully pulled it off. As his eyes adjusted to the slightly larger amount of light, he found himself in his basement, staring at boxes of sopor. All the pain came rushing back to him, both from his memories and his scars, and violet tears began rolling down his gray face.

The door creaked open, and the sound of two large hooves clopping down the stone steps resonated through the room. The troll stared down at the floor, which had specks of his own purple blood almost engraved into the concrete. Almost a million scenarios raced through his mind, _Will he beat me? Will he rape me? Will he let me go, only to torture me later? Or will he just end my torment and kill me?_ he thought, awaiting the torture to come. He felt a warm, soft tongue against his cheeks, and he gathered from this that his lusus was behind him, for he didn't dare to look up. He didn't speak, for one wrong word could send him through hell all over again. He continued to stare at the ground, and to his surprise, he felt his bindings loosen, the taste of rope removed from his mouth.

"You've been a good wiggler, my sweet. And every good wiggler needs to see the circus at three sweeps. Come on, stand up."

The young purpleblood did as he was told, and looked up at the Capricorn, who stood far taller than he did. The fish-goat turned, pushing the troll forward with his tail, and the pair walked up the stairs.


	2. Excitement

The purpleblood's eyes glittered with excitement as he stared at the clowns that were seemingly everywhere. He watched as one clown got into a little car that was only the size of his foot. Another one was juggling what he presumed to be juggling clubs- he couldn't exactly tell from the distance- while on a one wheel device. Yet another clown was honking horns at the crowd, and while some of the audience was angered by this, the young troll nearly squealed in delight as the clown did so to him.

But soon the clown act was over, and the little troll solemnly walked to the ice cream parlor with his father, licking his new chocolate-vanilla swirl, and sat down on a bench.

"Gamzee?" a voice asked cautiously.

Hearing his name, the purpleblood turned towards the voice. It was his best friend Tavros, his lusus flying behind him. The rustblood was also carrying ice cream, and he skipped over to the highblood, dropping it in the process. Tavros' happy demeanor plummeted as he watched the ice cream begin melting into the concrete.

"Hey, it's okay," Gamzee comforted as his friend sat down next to him, "We can share."

Tavros looked up at him, "R-really?"

"Sure brother, I don't mind." the highblood replied, smiling at the rustblood.

Tavros smiled back, "Thanks Gamzee!"

Goatdad and Tinkerbull were watching the interaction between the two trolls, and they started conversing as Tavros and Gamzee shared the ice cream happily.

"They really enjoy they're time together," Tinkerbull began, "maybe we could set up a time for them to hang out together?"

Goatdad shook his head. "Sorry, I'm going to be quite busy for a while."

"When will you be free?"

"I don't know, probably not for a long time."

"Well, I could look after him whenever you're away."

"No thanks, I prefer Gamzee to be at his hive."

"Don't you think he would be safer with someone watching him though?"

Goatdad growled, "I said no!"

The two young trolls turned towards the pair, startled by the sudden increase in volume.

"Sorry, just a friendly argument," Tinkerbull reassured, then turned back to the other lusus. "I've seen the way you look at those two," he whispered, "if you hurt a hair on their heads, I'll make sure you regret it."

Goatdad nodded, "I accept you parameters. However if you go anywhere near my son I'll make sure you regret it.

"Fine," Tinkerbull replied, and flitted back over to Tavros.

"Gamzee, it's time for us to head back," Goatdad called.

"Aaaaaawwwwww," both trolls whined in unison.

"Gamzee, come now, we have to go."

Gamzee suddenly hugged Tavros defiantly, glaring at his father. "Mine!"

Goatdad's voice dropped to a slight snarl. "Gamzee..."

Suddenly remembering the consequence of disobedience, Gamzee quickly said goodbye to Tavros, and ran over to his father, and the two went home.


	3. Pain

"I'm sorry!" Gamzee screamed through the lavender tears streaming down his face.

"You disobeyed me after I was so kind to you," Goatdad growled as he raked the knife acss his son's skin, eliciting more screams.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please, stop!" the troll screeched in pain.

"It's your fault that I have to do this, Gamzee." Goatdad made another cut, then another. "I don't want to punish you, but I'm forced to do so. There will be no reward for you tonight."

Gamzee smiled weakly. _Good,_ he thought. He knew what Goatdad's idea of a "reward" was.


	4. Friendship

Today was the day Gamzee would meet his moirail.  
It was the Alternian equivalent of September, and the school sweep had started up again. Gamzee was sitting on the bench, watching the other trolls play a game of baseball. Equius was sucking up to any highblood he could find, as usual. He was a nuisance, Nepeta was the only one who could get him to shut up, and in Gamzee's opinion, the only one at the school who was tolerable, wit the exception of Tavros.

The highblood hissed, how did every thought lead to Tavros? He hated that he couldn't get the idiot out of his head, he wasn't even that likable. His weakling stutter, his shyness, his stupid smile, his huge horns. At least he had friends to keep him busy, or he wouldn't know how to deal with him all the time. Caught up in his thoughts, Gamzee didn't notice the ball flying towards him until it hit him in the face.

Now Gamzee was not the wiggler you'd want to mess with. Everyone stayed away from him for the most part, even the teacher was wary of him. As he was drawn out of his own world and into the real one, he heard the voices that were previously white noise.

"Nice pitch Karkles!" one voice cackled.

"Shut up Terezi, I'm getting the damn ball!" another voice shouted back.

Gamzee heard footsteps approaching him. "Get up you dumbdumb!" the same grouchy voice ordered.

Gamzee stood up. "What did you just say?"

"Are you retarded or just hard at hearing? I said, 'get up, you dumbdumb!'"

Gamzee turned to face the other wiggler, but no one was there.

"Down here stupid."

He looked down. He knew this wiggler, it was Karkat. Other trolls made fun of him, because of his size or his horns, and then never do so again after a two hour hissing speech from him.

 _This dickwaffle is in for the beating of his life,_ Gamzee thought to himself. Hissing, the highblood punched the other troll square in the face, almost knocking him down. He didn't give him time to react, and he pummeled him into the ground. However, Karkat knew how to use his feet, and kicked the other troll in the bulge. Gamzee cringed, but he would not let a little cheatery sway him, and he bared his teeth, aiming for his neck. Unfortunately, Karkat blocked this, and Gamzee only got a mouthful of his arm. He did not let go of his arm, and clamped his teeth shut, holding his shoulders down. Karkat twisted the purpleblood's wrist, freeing his shoulder, and punched him in the face, allowing him to get up. Then he uppercutted Gamzee in the jaw, sweeping his legs. Gamzee rolled out of the way as Karkat was about to tackle him, then pounced on top of him, holding his arms behind his back.

"Ow, okay, fine, fuck you, you win," Karkat growled, his voice muffled by the ground beneath him.

Gamzee got off of him. Both trolls were hot and out of breath. "Good fight, brother. You're cool, we should hang out and shit."

"Yeah, sure whatever, just don't kill me, okay asslicker?"

"You got it brother."


	5. Pity

Gamzee was walking home with Karkat, for a few reasons. The first, Goatdad surprisingly encouraged their friendship, second, Tavros still walked home with his lusus, which was kind of embarrassing, third, they were moirails, and Karkat's hive was on the way to Gamzee's. Before they reached either hive, however, Gamzee's ears picked up a soft mewling. There, in an empty lot, lay the mangled bodies of a cat and her kittens. One of the young meowbeasts was still alive. Gamzee picked up the kitten gently, and ran his fingers through its matted fur. _No,_ he thought, _not it. Her._

"It's just a stupid meowbeast, leave it. It probably has fleas anyway," Karkat told him.

"No, she deserves a chance to live," Gamzee argued.

"Fine, I don't care, as long as it stays out of my hive," Karkat replied.

"Can we keep her?" Gamzee asked once he had gotten back to his hive.

"No, my sweet, she probably has ticks or fleas. And she's a wild animal who shouldn't be chained up." Goatdad replied. "Put her back where he found her."

"Okay..." Gamzee hissed.

He understood the refusal, and accepted it. So, like any wiggler in this situation, je disobeyed and kept her anyway, hiding her in his respit block behind the boxes of extra sopor.

"Her name is Tiamat," Gamzee explained, running his hand through the kitten's soft, black fur.

"She's simply adorrrrrable!" Nepeta squealed, rolling the "R."

"She's uh, really cute!" Tavros stuttered.

"Oh come on, it's just a stupid meowbeast," Karkat groaned.

"Karrrrkitty, how dare you! She's not stupid, in fact, she's nearly as smarrt as we are!" Nepeta scolded.

Gamzee cut in to the argument. "Sorry, but I need to get home before dad does. I'll see you tomorrow."

Gamzee carried the kitten down to the basement. He had been hiding her their for over a week now. This time, however, there was a surprise waiting for him.

"Just what is the meaning of this?!" Goatdad questioned angrily.

 _Uh-oh,_ Gamzee thought.

"You deliberately disobeyed me. You do know that I have to punish you severely for this, correct?" Goatdad click his tongue, causing Tiamat to jump out of Gamzee's arms and over towards the sound. Then she squealed as the sea-goat smashed her to a bloody pulp with his hooves.


	6. Caring

Then was the day of Gamzee's first sleepover.

Gamzee was now rapidly approaching the age of four sweeps. Tavros had invited him over, and it was one of the days Goatdad wouldn't be home until the next morning. And this way he could sleep in a warm respit than a cold basement.

"So uh, Gamzee?"

Gamzee had been lost in his thoughts again, but the rustblood's voice snapped him back to reality. "Yeah Tav?"

"So, um, is this, uh, a sleepover?" he asked shyly.

The purpleblood thought for a moment. "Yeah, I guess it is."

"Well, um, Vriska told me, um, about a game-"

Gamzee hissed. "Tavbro, you need to stop hanging out with Vriska! She's only going to bring you down, and just when you need her most, she'll stab you in the back."

The pair sat in silence for a moment, looking around the respit block awkwardly.

Gamzee was the one to break the silence. "So what's this game you were talking about?"

Tavros' face lit up again, glad to have the silence over with. "Truth or Dare. Vris-" he paused, remembering what the purpleblood had said about Vriska, but he didn't seem to mind, so the rustblood continued. "Vriska told me you have to play it at sleepovers. She told me about a website to get good truths and dares from."

Tav went over to his husktop and pulled up said website.

"Okay, Gamzee, do you want to go first?"

"No, you go ahead brother."

Tav moved the husktop over to the floorspace they were playing in. "Truth or dare, Gamzee?"

"Dare."

Tavros clicked the button, then his face turned a deep bronze. "Uhhhhh..."

Gamzee turned the husktop towards him. "Do I have to?"

Tav nodded. Gamzee leaned over and quickly kissed the blushing lowblood, causing him to turn an even deeper bronze.

"Tav?" Gamzee poked his face, then waited for him to come out of shock.

"T-t-t-t-truth.." Tav stammered once he had returned to the world of the living. Gamzee clicked the button. "Who is your flush crush?"

"W-w-w-well, I don't, um, have one, yet..." Tavros answered nervously. For some reason, the purpleblood felt a twinge of disappointed.

They ended up making their own truths and dares, and deciding only to use the website when they couldn't think of one.

"Uh, truth or dare?" Tav asked.

"Dare," Gamzee replied.

"Well, uh, I can't think of one, so..." Tav trailed off and clicked the button. Instantly his face flushed once more.

"T-t-t-t-take off y-your shirt..." he read aloud.

Under normal circumstances, he would have done the dare to get it over with, but he didn't want anyone to know about his scars.

"L-let's go get some food," Gamzee suggested.

"Well, I'm not really hungry..." Tavros stated.

Eventually the highblood reluctantly removed his shirt.

Gamzee frantically fumbled for an explanation, but the rustblood didn't ask. Instead, Tavros stared at the other troll's chest for a few minutes.

"Can... Can I touch them?" Gamzee hesitated, then nodded. He watched as the rustblood traced his fingers over each cut, being as gentle as can be. After a while, Tavros stood up and hugged the highblood, and Gamzee ugged back.

They stopped playing after that, partially because it was dinner time, and partially because of the interaction. Soon it was time for them to go to sleep, for the sun would be rising soon. Tinkerbull tucked the two trolls into the recuperacoon, sang them a little lullaby, kissed their foreheads, then he turned off the light and exited the respit block.


	7. Denial

"G-Gamzee?!"

The purpleblood opened his eyes quickly, expecting the horrid conditions of his "respit block." Instead, he found himself within a warm recuperacoon.

"G-Gamzee, could you, uh, please let go?"

Suddenly he realized he had been tightly hugging Tavros, and after this realization he quickly released him.

"I have to go, Goatdad will be home soon," Gamzee explained.

Both Tav and Tinkerbull said goodbye, and he left the premises.

When he returned home, Goatdad was sitting in the large armchair in the main block. But... How was this possible?

"Gamzee, how did you sleep?" he inquired.

Quickly the purpleblood regained his bearings, and replied, "I slept well."

"Now, can you tell me where you slept?"

Gamzee tried not to stutter. "I slept downstairs, like always dad..."

Goatdad turned and looked his wriggler in the eye. "Please, Gamzee, don't lie. I raised you better than that. Now, tell me the truth. Where did you sleep?"

The troll knew he was in trouble now. "I-I slept over at Tav's hive."

Goatdad stood up and walked over to him. "Gamzee, what have I told you about disobedience? Everytime you ask if you can stay over, I say no. Did you think I wouldn't find out? Did you honestly think I could be so incompetent for this to slip my notice? Did you really, truly think you could escape the consequences?"

Gamzee remained silent.

"You know I love you from the bottom of my bloodpusher, right? That's why I have to punish you. Because I care, and I love you."

The purpleblood avoided responding, for the fear of further angering his already irritated father.

"Gamzee I don't want to punish you, truly, I don't. However, I am forced to do so, because you never listen. You always disobey me, and how else are you meant to learn your lesson? Come, follow me."

Goatdad clopped his way to the basement, and Gamzee reluctantly followed. Goatdad got out the whip and the tanning knife, and began brutally whipping his son. Gamzee took each blow, trying, and failing not to cry. Then, after he was finished with the whip, he began cutting away at the skin, little by little.

Then, to the purpleblood's surprise, Goatdad began licking the wounds. "Now, though you don't deserve it, I think I'll reward you." Gamzee's eyes widened, and he quickly shook his head. "I don't want you to leave me again, my sweet," the lusus continued.

Gamzee desperately pleaded with his lusus, asking for him not to, but it was futile; he had made up his mind. He knew that now no argument could change it. Silent tears ran down the little troll's face as Goatdad shoved himself into his son.


	8. Anticipation

Today was the day! Today was the day that Gamzee would ascend from three sweeps to four. Today was his wriggling day, the day he was hatched four sweeps ago. He was throwing a party, and he ended up inviting everyone, including Vriska and the two seadwellers. Crabdad, Pounce de Leon, and Tinkerbull were there as well.

"Happy wriggling day, Gamzee!" Tav smiled as he handed him the small gift.

"Wow, thanks Tav!" Gamzee grinned in return as he put the present into the pile with the others.

Goatdad looked around. "Well, it looks like everyone's here. Shall we play some games?" All of the trolls agreed.

Goatdad led them to the backyard, where a pinata hung from a tree. He handed each wiggler a stick and a blindfold, which they tied on themselves. Karkat, however, ignored this activity, along with Vriska, Eridan, Kanaya, and Sollux. Equius was playing to please the highblood, and also because Nepeta asked him to, and he broke the pinata with his first swing. The other eight trolls scrambled for the candy, and Vriska also snuck some herself. Unfortunately, Tinkerbull had nestled into the branches of this tree, and he had chosen the exact same branch the pinata had hung from, and the force of Equius' swing caused him to fall into the chaotic mess of candy and screaming children. Gamzee, having noticed this, rescued the poor lusus, carrying him to the bench, where Tinkerbull sighed and thanked the purple-blooded troll.

"Welcome, bro," Gamzee replied.

They went inside after that, for it started raining, and seadwellers always seem to get weird when it rains.

It was time to open gifts. Goatdad pushed his gift towards Gamzee with his tail. He was well aware of his son's love of clowns and carnivals, and he worked this into his gift. Gamzee opened the large box, to find it was filled with horns and a unicycle.

"Thanks, dad!"

Gamzee reached for the small box he had gotten from Tavros, carefully but eagerly ripping the wrapping paper, and opening the small gift. Inside was a snowglobe wrapped in wax paper. incased in the glass, there stood a detailed porcelain figurine of Pupa Pan, and when you shook it, "fairy dust" would fall from every angle of the globe.

The highblood hugged his brown-blooded friend tightly. "Thanks Tav, I love it!" he exclaimed happily.

Tavros smiled and hugged back, "Uh, you're welcome, Gamzee!"

Goatdad cleared his throat, signaling it was time his son moved on to the next gift. Gamzee reached for a long, thin box, which was from Sollux, and realizing its weight, opened it carefully so as not to break whatever it contained. Inside of the box, there sat a brand-new red husktop, its surface gleaming in the artificial light. "Wow, thanks Sollux," Gamzee said graciously, still in awe of the expensive gift.

"It wath nothing, I had an extra huthktop lying around in my hive," Sollux shrugged nonchalantly, his lisp prominent.

Gamzee nodded and moved on to the next gifts. There was a cat plushie from Nepeta, and a scalemate from Terezi. He thanked them, then continued sorting through the gifts.

The next gift was from Vriska. Oh no, he thought, for Vriska was almost never kind. He opened the box, only to find nothing inside, except for a note that read, "Hey Gamzeeeeeeee, I got you your f8vorite thing! ;;;;)." Gamzee hissed a sarcastic "thanks," to which the cobaltblood replied, "You're welcome Gamzeeeeeeee," exaggerating the "E" in his name.

The next gift was from Kanaya. He opened the box, surprised to find not one, not two, but three suits, each with a similar design, and each a different size.

"I tailored them to fit your poor fashion sense, and they should last you many sweeps. And trust me, they will fit."

"Thanks Kanaya," Gamzee smiled, ignoring the snarky remark.

Then Equius walked over and bowed, asking to be punished, for he had not been able to find a gift for the highblood, to which Gamzee awkwardly told him that there was no need to get him anything. Then Equius walked away after thanking him, and probably went off to rub his sweat all over the towels.

Then Feferi hugged the Makara. "Sorry I couldn't get you anything! You'll just have to settle for a wriggling day hug."

Gamzee hugged her back. "That's fine by me, sis."

Then Karkat awkwardly handed Gamzee a plastic bag with a large crab-shaped cookie, acting as if he didn't really care. Gamzee saw through this however, and hugged the Cancerian, "Thanks brother."

Karkat hugged back, then shoved him off. "Yeah, yeah, you're welcome. Sorry if it's shitty though, I can't cook."

"Nah, man, I'm sure it'll be delicious!" Gamzee replied, and began nomming the cookie, grinning widely. It was true, it tasted terrible and burnt, but he ate it anyway, for a friend had made it for him.

It was time for cake! Well, they were really brownies with frosting on them, because brownies are always superior to anything but Nutella. Goatdad and the other lusii helped pass out the plates, and allowed the small trolls their choice of brownie and ice cream. They ate, and many of them complemented the cook, who happened to be Gamzee himself. Then, after watching a shitty Godzilla movie, because everyone loves Godzilla, and playing a few video games, Goatdad led the young highblood to the basement, to give him his special gift.

Gamzee was practically jumping up and down with anticipation, wondering just what this special gift would be. Goatdad padded over to him, lust in the lusus' white eyes, but this escaped the little troll's notice, due to his excitement.

"Now, let's give you your special gift, my sweet."

Goatdad licked his son's horn slowly, sending a shiver down the Makara's spine, and he immediately realized what the "special gift" was. He didn't try to protest, he knew there was no point in arguing, so he just stared absently at the door, which was ajar. He felt it was almost cruel, for the door to decide to stay open, though he knew that it had no thoughts or feeling, he still felt as if it were insulting him, rubbing in his face that he was so close to an unreachable freedom. Goatdad removed Gamzee's pants and underpants, and licked at the troll's nook, the stimulation causing his bulge to peek out and investigate, searching for the source. Goatdad continued to lick, then drew himself up and brought himself closer to the troll, aligning his own bulge with Gamzee's nook, and shoved himself into the troll, causing Gamzee to make a loud squeak in the sudden pain.

"Shhhh, Gamzee, my sweet, don't worry. You know it will give way to great pleasure," Goatdad comforted- or at least tried to. He rocked his hips back and forth, only producing slow, gentle thrusts. Gamzee whimpered, he tried to stop it, but his bulge seemed to have a mind of its own, inserting itself into Goatdad's nook after entwining around the base of the lusus' bulge. However, try as he might, he could only take it slowly for so long before giving into his lust for more. He began going faster, which caused Gamzee to cry out in pain at the sudden pick up in speed. The faster he went, the more painful it was, but it was surprisingly pleasurable, which Gamzee tried to deny, but Goatdad was correct in saying there was immense amount of pleasure hidden beneath the thick sheet of pain. He despised this truth with all his might, no matter what.

Goatdad groaned loudly, snapping Gamzee out of is thoughts, "Gamzee, you're so tight, it feels so good."

Gamzee just whimpered again, keeping his gaze fixed on the slightly open door. _Why? Why is this happening?_ He knew his body seemed to want every moment of this, but he did not. He knew he couldn't take much more of this, his small body wasn't made for this much stimulation at such an early age. He knew he was rapidly approaching climax, and Goatdad knew this as well. Goatdad wanted to make the climax memorable, it was his birthday present after all, and he began going much harder and much faster, and deeper still, causing Gamzee to bite his lip to stop himself from screaming, and a loud whimper escaped through his teeth and small amounts of blood began trickling down his lip from the bite. Goatdad moaned loudly, more and more, and because of his pleasure, he almost didn't notice the shock that went down his son's spine as his yellow eyes widened, lavender tears streaming down his face, his usual absent look become clear, he was looking at something in particular, something, or someone, was there, watching. Goatdad inputted his final thrust into the boy, causing his dark purple genetic material to spurt out inside, and out, of the lusus' nook as he screeched through his teeth at the pain of both the halted pelvic movements and the immense pressure from his pointed teeth being pressed against his soft, gray lip.

Goatdad turned, to see Karkat in a state of shock, his face stuck in a state of horror, his mouth open and gaping like a fish, staring down into the basement. Goatdad growled, pulling out of his son, and glaring at the troll, a snarl escaped his lips. "Get. Out."

Karkat's lithe little body unfroze as he was addressed, and he ran out of the hive, telling Crabdad it was time to go home. Goatdad quickly got themselves cleaned up, and headed back upstairs, his usual kind demeanor towards the trolls returned. "Alright, I'm afraid the lot of you must go home now. Gamzee and I look forward to seeing you again soon."

Many of the trolls begged to stay,but eventually, one by one, they each left. Some waited for their lusus to pick them up, some walked by themselves, and Nepeta and Tavros went home with their lusii, who had already been their to begin with. Then, after everyone had left, Goatdad tucked Gamzee snugly into his recuperacoon, closed the door, and clopped upstairs.


	9. Pleasant Dreams

Gamzee awoke from a rather pleasant dream, for once he wasn't being haunted my horrorterrors in his daymares, and he wished it could go on forever. He remembered the dream vividly, however it was beginning to fade. He had dreamt of a time that seemed long, long ago, back before Goatdad began doing these 'things' to him. It was when he and Goatdad had a picnic together. It was a simple sentiment, bit it meant so much to him, for it was a time long forgotten except by himself. He remembered his smile, the genuine smile of the lusus' face, no lust, no desire, just sheer love and happiness.

Gamzee yawned and crawled out of his recuperacoon. Nothing could prepare him for what lay in the living block. Nothing in the universe.

Gamzee walked up the stone steps, and into the living block. On the writing desk that stood in the corner against the walls, there lay a note and a calligraphy pen. Gamzee unfolded the note, placing the money that had fallen out of it on the desk and read what it said.

_Dear son,_

_I send you my deepest apologies, though I know nothing is allowed to excuse what I have done. I have wronged you in so many ways. I'm afraid I have to leave, in fear of hurting you anymore. Do not blame yourself for my wrongdoings, for I am the one at fault here, not you, my sweet. Just keep in mind that I'm doing this for you, and I love you with every fiber of my being. Enclosed is 300 boondollars to last you through the sweep. Do not go looking for me, I do not wish to hurt you anymore than I already have._

_Sincerely and with lots of love,_

_Goatdad_

Gamzee stared at the letter, his eyes wide with disbelief. He took a step back, dropping it. "No, no, no..." He stumbled backwards, falling onto the carpeted floor. "But... it's my fault... It's all my fault, why, why, why do you have to leave me?" Gamzee curled up into a ball, weeping, his scared little body quivering violently. _Why, why, why?! It's my fault, it's my fault, it's all my fault!_ He stayed there, weeping uncontrollably, shaking like a leaf, for who knows how long.

_"Daddy?"_


	10. Loneliness

Gamzee felt sick. He didn't want to eat. He didn't want to move. He just wished he could fall asleep and never wake up. The tears had dried up by now, and he began crawling to his recuperacoon, hoping he could just fall asleep forever. He snuggled up inside it, enveloping himself in the warm green slime. He wondered what would happen if he ate it, after all, just laying in it seemed to help calm him, consuming it could only amplify the effect. Gingerly, he licked a little from his finger, surprised by the taste. It was sweet, yet salty, warm, yet cool. The calming effect of the slime almost immediately began taking effect, Gamzee was already calming down. He quickly consumed more of the delicious slime, until he almost completely deadened his senses. He quickly fell asleep, dreaming of the randomest things his muddled think pan could come up with.

He awoke to the sound of the door opening and shutting. Gamzee sat up, calling out to who he assumed it was. "Daddy?"

"Ith me. I came to help you set up your huthktop," Sollux corrected from the living block.

Gamzee sat up, crawling out of the recuperacoon, to watch what Sollux was doing. He was typing lines of code, presumably to hack into the main account so he could make Gamzee a newone, since the yellowblood had forgotten the password he used for the administrator account. Then, after accomplishing this, he hacked into the Wi-Fi to get the password, since Gamzee didn't know it. Afterwards, he downloaded Trollian, and giving Gamzee his and Karkats trolltag, telling him he could get everyone else's from there. Then he left.

Gamzee giddily started up Trollian, eager to speak to his friends. He thought for a moment, then chose his color and trolltag, terminallyCapricious. He went to the search bar within the tab, typing in carcinoGeneticist and twinArmegeddons, adding them to his contacts list. Then, he trolled Karkat.

\---terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at ??:??---

TC: SuP mOtHeR fUcKeR

TC: :o)

CG: WHAT.

CG: WHAT IDIOTIC ASSLICKER HAS SOMEHOW STUMBLED UPON THIS ASSHOLE OF A TROLL AND DECIDED TO TROLL ME.

TC: hEy KaRkAt

TC: WhAt'S aLl Up AnD uP?

CG: HOLY MOTHER OF ALL MUFFINS, THIS IDIOTIC ASSLICKER THROUGH SOME BULLSHIT MIRACLE KNOWS MY NAME.

CG: WHATEVER IN THE LAND OF ALL FUCKERY AND DOUCHE BAGGERY WILL I DO.

TC: hEhEh

TC: HoNk :o)

CG: OH MY GOG, GAMZEE, IS THAT YOU.

CG: YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, LET ME GUESS, SOLLUX JUST SHOWED UP AND SET UP YOUR HUSKTOP

TC: WoAh MoThEr FuCkEr, HoW'd YoU aLl Up AnD kNoW?

TC: :o0

CG: I DON'T NOW, MAYBE I'M A MAGICAL FUCKING GENIE WHO IS PSYCHIC AND CAN READ MINDS OR SOMESHIT

TC: :oO

TC: wOaH

TC: rEaLlY?

TC: i WiSh FoR a MoThEr FuCkIn' MiRaClE.

CG: OH MY FUCK GAMZEE, HAVE YOU ROTTED YOUR THINK PAN ENOUGH TO TELL THAT YOU CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SERIOUSNESS AND SARCASM?

TC: hEhEh

TC: HeY iNvErTaBrOtHeR, hAvE yOu AlL uP aNd TrIeD tHe ReCuPeRaCoOn SlImE?

CG: YOU MEAN SOPOR?

CG: HOLY MOTHER OF FUCKERS, GAMZEE, DID YOU EAT THAT SHIT?!

TC: iT's AlL uP aNd DeLiCiOuS bRoThEr

TC: ShOuLd AlL uP aNd TrY iT

TC: cAlMiN' aN' sHiT

CG: GAMZEE, IS YOUR LUSUS SO TERRIBLE THAT HE CAN'T EVEN KEEP YOU FROM EATING STUPID SHIT LIKE THAT?!

CG: SERIOUSLY, HE NEEDS LUSUSING LESSONS

TC: :o(

TC: hE lEfT

TC: :o( hOnK

CG: OH SHIT, REALLY?

CG: UH

CG: SORRY, I GUESS

TC: nAh, It'S fInE bRoThEr

TC: YoU dIdN't AlL uP aNd KnOw

CG: WELL

CG: ANYWAY

CG: I'M GUESSING SOLLUX ONLY GAVE YOU MINE AND HIS TROLLTAGS.

TC: HeHeH, yEaH

CG: HERE, I'LL GIVE YOU EVERYONE ELSE'S.

CG: APOCALYPSEARISEN, ADIOSTOREADOR, ARSENICCATNIP, GRIMMAUXILIATRIX, GALLOWSCALIBRATOR, ARACHNIDSGRIP, CENTAURSTESTICLE, CALIGULASAQUARIUM, AND CUTTLEFISHCULLER.

TC: tHaNkS bRo, I'lL gO tRoLl ThEm NoW

TC: sEe Ya, My InVeRtAbRoThEr

\---terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]---


End file.
